Discipline and behavior away from home

One of the biggest challenges when raising a child is knowing how to provide discipline so your child will make good decisions whether you are there or not. Setting the expectation for your child's behavior when he or she is not with you starts with discipline and age-appropriate expectations at home.

Many parents try to discipline children by using control or punishment. Instead, focus on listening and setting the tone for acceptable behavior. Discipline should not be punishment for poor behavior. Rather, it should be a process of teaching children the consequences of their actions so they learn new and acceptable behavior. It is a slow and consistent process that yields positive results.

Discipline provides children with the tools they need to be on their best behavior in any situation. It teaches children self-control and respect, and requires parents to model these values themselves.

While every child is different, most children need to be given consistent, clear rules and expectations about behavior. The following are some techniques that will help make clear your expectations for your children's behavior when they are home or away:

• Involve the whole family in setting the rules. This also allows the whole family to know what behavior is and is not acceptable. When establishing these rules, make sure children know the consequences of breaking any family rule.
• When establishing family rules, keep in mind that they should mirror your family values. You might set rules such as, "We show respect for all people's feelings and beliefs," and "We never lie." In order for this to be successful, adults in the home must model these values and rules for children.
• Acknowledge and encourage good behavior. When your children have behaved well both in and out of your presence, acknowledge their good behaviors and tell them that is the kind of behavior you expect from them.
• Be a role model for your child. The goal of discipline is not to punish. Teach your child to behave appropriately by setting a good example.
• Tell your child the reasons behind rules. Many children can say what their parents don't want them to do, but many can't explain what their parents want them to do instead. You are likely to get more cooperation and respect for your rules when your children are clear on why you have them.

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